Make the Louie Dressing:

In a mixing bowl, whisk together the mayonnaise, ketchup, lemon juice, lemon zest, Dijon mustard, relish, and Worcestershire sauce.

Add the grated garlic, horseradish (if using), paprika, onion powder, salt, and pepper. Whisk until smooth.

Cover and refrigerate until ready to serve. Can be made up to 1 week ahead.

Cook the Eggs: 4. Place eggs in a saucepan of cold, salted water. Bring to a boil over medium-high heat. 5. Simmer for 6 minutes (soft-boiled) or 9 minutes (hard-boiled). 6. Transfer immediately to an ice bath, then peel and set aside.

Roast the Asparagus: 7. Preheat oven to 425°F and line a baking sheet with parchment paper. 8. Trim the woody ends off the asparagus, then arrange on the baking sheet. 9. Drizzle with olive oil, season with salt and pepper, and roast for 10–12 minutes until tender.

Prep the Vegetables: 10. Thinly slice the cucumbers, radishes, and red onion. Halve the cherry tomatoes. 11. Slice the avocado and squeeze a little lemon juice over it to prevent browning.

Shell the Crab: 12. Snap crab legs at the joints and gently pull the shell apart to remove the meat. 13. Use kitchen scissors for stubborn pieces, and keep the crab meat well chilled.

Assemble the Salad: 14. Spread the romaine lettuce across a large platter. 15. Arrange the roasted asparagus, cucumbers, radishes, tomatoes, and red onion around the edges. 16. Add the quartered eggs, avocado slices, and lemon wedges. Sprinkle capers over the top. 17. Mound the shelled crab meat in the center. Drizzle with Louie dressing and serve the rest on the side.